Moments in Time
Today I accidentally found out that someone was married……. An ex.
There are a lot of things that go through your mind when that information is discovered.
I was with this person for many years, I was going to marry him, and we ended many years ago….. As time passes those years with seem like specks. He is an important person in my life…..he is chapters 3-5 in my life book.
The first thought/feeling was shock then a second later I had a big smile on my face. I am happy for him….and kind of wish I could have been hiding in the church to watch what I could not do… happen. It was in the church that he and I went to and where most likely going to be married….(but I really didn’t want for it to happen there)…. I am happy that he got to have his day there and I hope he is happy!
Now this might seem strange to some but trust me I did have a good 10minutes of odd feelings; Like Oh my God…..when am I going to stop running and settle down, Wow does he have kids, who is she, do I know her?????? But then I realized that I am really happy and in a good place ( in life)….if I had not ended things at the moment that I did, I would not have lived the life I did/will……I would not have met the new wonderful people that are in my life and I would not have wound up in Cambridge today! I love it here and I am meant to be here at this moment in time.
Part of the problem I had when with this person was that I knew I was living a life not meant to be mine, I always felt that he was meant to marry someone else and I was meant to live a different life and perhaps marry someone else….. It is hard when someone in a relationship thinks that way.
The bravest thing I did was to be selfish for the both of us and know that we both deserved better! Sometimes when you love someone you really do have to let them go….I loved him but he was only meant to be written into chapters 3-5 not the whole book.
There are a lot of things that go through your mind when that information is discovered.
I was with this person for many years, I was going to marry him, and we ended many years ago….. As time passes those years with seem like specks. He is an important person in my life…..he is chapters 3-5 in my life book.
The first thought/feeling was shock then a second later I had a big smile on my face. I am happy for him….and kind of wish I could have been hiding in the church to watch what I could not do… happen. It was in the church that he and I went to and where most likely going to be married….(but I really didn’t want for it to happen there)…. I am happy that he got to have his day there and I hope he is happy!
Now this might seem strange to some but trust me I did have a good 10minutes of odd feelings; Like Oh my God…..when am I going to stop running and settle down, Wow does he have kids, who is she, do I know her?????? But then I realized that I am really happy and in a good place ( in life)….if I had not ended things at the moment that I did, I would not have lived the life I did/will……I would not have met the new wonderful people that are in my life and I would not have wound up in Cambridge today! I love it here and I am meant to be here at this moment in time.
Part of the problem I had when with this person was that I knew I was living a life not meant to be mine, I always felt that he was meant to marry someone else and I was meant to live a different life and perhaps marry someone else….. It is hard when someone in a relationship thinks that way.
The bravest thing I did was to be selfish for the both of us and know that we both deserved better! Sometimes when you love someone you really do have to let them go….I loved him but he was only meant to be written into chapters 3-5 not the whole book.
posted by Reb | 9:38 pm
1 Comments:
Then you met me and my sis at a cookout in Newport. You started drinking heavily, wearing purple dresses, started showering/shaving armpits and legs and havent been the same since. Luuvvv UUUUU
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